Protein Bar is maddeningly slow
Protein Bar’s service is meandering. Their seemingly confused and overly careful employees move about behind the bar in a dull dance reserved only for white liberal arts students who have no history or future in food service. They mean well, but take forever to measure, pour, re-check their measurements, mix, cut, clean up the spilled drop, wash their knives, and pour every last drop out of the blender into your cup.
And this is annoying.
I don’t give a crap about the exact amounts or whether or not your stainless steel counter is spotless. Take a cue from the kitchen of any restaurant in the world and pour me my goddamn drink already. If I ever saw real bartender used the same scientific precision that you do to measure shots I’d just order a bottled beer next time and then glass them with it. You probably wouldn’t need to hire so many staff if you started to make them work for their tips.
Food there, when you finally get it, falls into one of three very standard categories: wraps, bowls or shakes. Each dish an Applebee’s style portmanteau of Chicago landmarks and foods. One EL of an Oatmeal, Big Willy; it is a bit insulting: “Hey, this isn’t a coconut banana chocolate shake, it’s a Chicago coconut banana chocolate shake!”
Your bowls and wraps are pretty much quinoa or oatmeal with chili or chicken. It doesn’t matter though, because it’s all a little off. It’s healthfood, alright? The best you’re gonna get foodwise is a smushed BARitto. It doesn’t matter, it’s not like you were expecting the dish of your life.
Shakes you do get your choice of protein powder and milk but it all tastes the same. Sweet, yet much less thick than a Jamba Juice smoothie. Ingredients are pretty much protein powder, milk, fruit, and ice.
So all-in-all, it’s not that bad. Prices are okay, food is okay, location is okay and decor is that new-style sterile trend which I hate. Health wise it’s okay too. It’s healthier than eating a cup of sugar but you only a small scoop of protein in each menu item which is good I guess, because it prevents you from getting too gassy.
Protein Bar, you got my business. I just wish you would have checked out what a real bar’s service is like before opening yours.
April 15th, 2010 at 9:29 am
just remember that Bas told us not to attempt to break the beer bottle first before hitting someone with it.
Actually, we should experiment with this. Put on goggles and some thick gauntlets, and see if it’s actually true that the bottle will become useless as a weapon after being broken on the edge of a bar.
April 23rd, 2010 at 4:03 pm
Protein bar is awful. Their shakes taste like ass and the wraps are bland.
And yes, the service is incredibly slow. What makes it worse is that it’s a hole in the wall and there’s no place to stand when waiting in line.