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Mr. Helms was my friend’s dad, but treated me like an adult and peer.  We always chatted when I visited Chris’ place and when I began working at the same place as him, we sometimes had lunch together.  He’d ask me if Chris and I still hung out which I always thought was a funny question considering I saw Chris about every weekend and talked to him daily on the forum.  Mr. Helms offered his support for my career, and although we were in different departments I really felt like I had someone who had my back.  Having him there to confide in about how much I didn’t like my job meant a lot to me.

When I first started at my current position, all my much older co-workers said that their hobbies include “Nothing” and “I have kids”, which depressed me when I saw that my career path and life led to them.  But Mr. Helms proved to me that old dogs can learn new tricks, and I found comfort in the fact that growing up doesn’t mean settling into a lifetime of TV watching and driving your kids to soccer practice.  I admired him so much more than any adult I have ever met.

It wasn’t just that he played the guitar, worked on classic cars, or built models… it was that he learned to do many of these things while an adult with children and mortgage and a job that was neither glamorous or full of riches.  He had his dream job once, and sacrificed it. He sold his ownership in his hobby store to spend more time with his family, in the process taking his final job at the place I work for steady money, security, and benefits.

One day while at his cabin early in the year, Mr. Helms passed away.  He was decently fit, and had no overarching medical problems, so his death struck swallowed up our group like an earthquake.

I had always hoped a part of him would be reflected in me when I grew older, but when he passed I thought about my own dad.  The funeral reminded me of the fact that my father will die one day, but I do believe that it is every father’s goal to die before his son, so even in death, Mr. Helms succeeded.  I also think it’s fitting that he passed away at his cabin, away from the suburban two car garage and Metra commute.  I think he would have wanted that.